


Some Dreams Come True

by Bette Bourgeois (PK_preservation_project)



Series: Dreaming [2]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: First Time, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 05:29:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14013207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PK_preservation_project/pseuds/Bette%20Bourgeois
Summary: Tom hacks into Harry's holoprograms, with carnal designs on that women's volleyball team.  He finds something he did not expect.(c) 1997





	Some Dreams Come True

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Leigh, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [P/K All the Way](https://fanlore.org/wiki/P/K_All_the_Way) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [P/K All the Way’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/pkalltheway/profile).
> 
> Disclaimer: Paramount owns the rights to every person, place and thing used in this story (except for the brief mention of George Lucas' film, Star Wars). No infringement of these rights is intended. Not to be published for profit. Not to be published without this disclaimer.
> 
> Warning: This story is rated NC-17 for language and explicit m/m sexual content. Do not read if you are under 18 or offended by explicitly depicted sexual situations between members of the same sex.

......................................................................

How had it all started? It started with Neelix's holodeck program; a warm scented island paradise with sun, sand, and breezes to caress tired bodies. But a program meant solely to bring pleasure and relaxation to weary Starfleet personnel needed more than a nice location and a chair to relax in, and one servant girl programmed to serve a certain Talaxian's every need.

As soon as Tom and Harry stepped through the holodeck doors they noticed the dearth of people; people having fun. And as soon as Neelix asked their opinion on its suitability as a crew recreation facility, they were willing and eager to share their views with him.

"There are a few things missing," Tom said. "A few strategic additions and then it would be perfect."

"Oh?" countered Neelix.

"You need some music." Tom gave the computer a command, and a band materialized and began to play some calypso music with an engaging rhythm.

"Nice," Neelix agreed after a few moments. "Very nice."

"And drinks." Tom continued to give the computer commands and soon a tall frosted glass was being held by all three males.

"Delightful," Neelix agreed, sipping. "Simply delightful."

"And you need more people," Harry added and gave the computer a command. Out of nowhere a beautiful and shapely woman in a brief swimsuit appeared.

"Not bad, Harry," Tom breathed. "Not bad at all."

"Captain of the women's Olympic volleyball team," Harry was beaming with pleasure at his little surprise. He was enjoying the look on Tom's eager face.

"Well, she's certainly in . . . Olympic shape," Tom chuckled. The woman just smiled a 100 megawatt smile and shifted her weight from one shapely leg to the other.

Just then the holodeck doors swished open and B'Elanna Torres waltzed in wearing a swimsuit that fit tighter than a second skin, showing off every svelte curve to perfection. Harry and Tom just gaped.

B'Elanna said, "Computer," and gave a command. In seconds, a tall dark-haired muscle-bound bronze-skinned Adonis materialized beside her carrying her towel and a beach umbrella. "Come along," she said to him and swept past Harry and Tom with only a smirk of acknowledgement.

"Well, I guess now we know why we poor mortal males don't measure up, don't we?" Tom said to Harry.

"Oh, I don't know," Harry answered, watching B'Elanna's shapely retreating backside, before she was completely obscured from view by the backside of her beach boy playtoy. "He's just a fantasy character. I mean, I like beautiful babes for a holodeck romp, but it'd be too distracting to actually be in a relationship with one; in real life. You know what I mean, don't you? Just because Megan and Jenny Delaney are easy to get along with, and knock-outs in the looks department, doesn't mean I'd want to be married to one or the other of them for the rest of my life."

"Yeah," Tom agreed. "There is that. So, you think even though B'Elanna picks somebody who looks like that for an afternoon of fun, she could still be happy living every day with a slob like me?"

Tom looked at Harry. Harry looked back at Tom.

"Naaaahhhh," they said in unison. They started to laugh.

"So, Harry," began Tom, eyeing the beautiful athletic blonde Harry had conjured up from one of his holoprograms. "How come you never told me you had such interesting holoprograms?" Tom nodded towards the blonde. Then he turned to eye Harry inquisitively.

Harry just smiled secretively. "Tom, you may be my best friend, but you don't honestly expect me to share _everything_ with you, now, do you?"

"But, Harry," a cajoling tone had come into Tom's voice. "She's so . . . beautiful."

Harry was enjoying his sudden advantage over Tom. So, Harry knew how to program something that caught Tom's interest. He would have thought Tom would have his own stable of holoprogram beauties able to rival anything Harry could come up with.

"And she's only the captain of the team," Harry informed Tom.

"The team?" Tom gazed at Harry incredulously. "You have the whole team?"

"Yup," Harry said simply.

"What do you do with a whole team, Harry?" Tom's eyes were ready to bug out of his head at the thoughts running through his mind.

Harry grinned. He knew his answer was going to make Tom laugh.

"We play volleyball," Harry said.

"You do what?!" Tom exclaimed.

"I have the men's team too," Harry confessed. "I sub for the men's team, and we play the women's team. They beat us occasionally too, when we get distracted." He grinned at the memory of some of those games.

"Are you telling me that all you ever do on a holodeck with a bevy of gorgeous babes in skimpy skin-tight bathing suits is . . . play volleyball?"

"Hey, don't sell them short! They're a hell of a good team," Harry argued.

Tom just looked at Harry as if his best friend had lost his mind.

"Harry," he said, shaking his head, "you are unbelievable."

Harry wouldn't lend Tom his women's Olympic volleyball team holoprogram. When he heard what Tom wanted to do with it, he adamantly refused. Tom called Harry a spoilsport. Harry called Tom a pervert.

Tom was not discouraged. He was determined to find a way to get hold of that holoprogram and make a copy of it for himself. But it had to be done stealthily. Tom was glad he was good at stealth, and good at hacking into places in Voyager's computer where he had no business going.

After about a week of trying, he finally got his hands on Harry's holoprogram files. He felt he had hit paydirt. Some of them were labelled obviously: family reunion, picnic with Libby, etc. But there were three with only Harry's name and a number designation. Tom laboriously downloaded all three. One of them had to be the program he was looking for. Now he just had to find a time to view them, without Harry asking any embarrassing questions about where he was spending his free time. There were some disadvantages to having a best friend who was always hanging around. Tom had never noticed them until now.

Finally, Harry was on an away mission, so Tom was going to run the longest of the pirated programs from Harry's files tonight. The only time open was after midnight (what did people _do_ in holodecks so late at night?) so he'd had to book that timeslot. He would have preferred earlier but he couldn't get anyone to trade with him. And he had to see it tonight because he wasn't sure how long Harry would be down on the planet.

He hung around Sandrine's all evening playing pool until after eleven. Then he went back to his quarters to get spiffed up. If he was going to walk into a holodeck full of knockout babes, he wanted to look knockout himself. Then again, knowing Harry, it could be a program of his family enjoying a picnic. Either way, if he was going to burst in on them, he wanted to look good.

At midnight he was standing outside holodeck one when Megan and Jenny Delaney exited. Their hair was soaking wet.

"Shower not working in your quarters, ladies?" Tom quipped.

Megan just smiled.

"Moonlight swim at Waikiki Beach," Jenny teased him.

"Alone?" Tom raised eyebrows.

"Now, what do _you_ think?" Megan grinned. The two women strolled away. Their sighs of contentment were too theatrical to be sincere, but he got the message loud and clear anyway.

Tom waited until they were out of earshot before pushing in the disk he took from his pocket. He told the computer, "Play program Kim 3." The doors opened.

The room he entered was in complete darkness. He stepped hesitantly over the threshold and heard the holodeck doors close smoothly behind him. Something about this room was familiar. It looked like crew quarters on Voyager.

"Computer, lights," he requested. Lights came up to reveal it was indeed the quarters of a crewman on Voyager. In fact, as Tom stared wide-eyed at the furnishings of the room, he realized they were _his_ quarters. Perfect down to the last detail. What the hell? What was Harry doing with a holoprogram of Tom's quarters?

"Hey, who turned on the lights?" came an angry growl from the bedroom. God, thought Tom. That voice is familiar, too!

A nude man stepped to the doorway between the two rooms and glared at him, squinting in the bright lights. He was tall, blonde, fair-skinned and good-looking. He had gorgeous blue eyes that were glaring at Tom in outrage. Tom found himself gazing in horror at his identical twin.

"How the hell did you get in my quarters?" the naked Tom demanded.

Tom just stared at him open-mouthed, trying to fathom all the implications of this discovery.

"Well? Who the hell are you and what do you want? How did you get in here? Answer me right now or I'm calling security!" the nude Tom ranted, bristling, his fair skin flushed red in anger.

Tom started saying something. He didn't know what. "I . . . I . . ."

"Well?!" demanded the other Tom.

"I'm . . . I'm looking for Harry," inspiration finally hit Tom.

"Harry hasn't come in yet. He pulled the late shift this rotation," Tom's double said. He still looked suspicious. "That doesn't explain how you got in here."

"Does Harry _live_ here?" Tom asked disbelievingly.

"Where have you been?" the suspicious Tom asked. "Harry and I have been living together for almost a year."

"What?!" Tom gasped.

"Hey, just who are you, anyway?" the other Tom demanded, hands on slim hips.

"Uh . . . Uh . . ." Tom had no idea what he was going to say, but he knew he had to get out of there before he passed out from shock.

"You a friend of Harry's? Did he give you the passcode for our quarters? If he did I'm gonna kill him." Tom's double looked disgusted now, more than angry.

"Uh . . . I'm . . . sorry I disturbed you. I . . . I'll see Harry in the . . . morning. Yeah, I'll see Harry . . . in the morning."

"Well, don't expect to see him too early, pal. Neither of us work the first shift, so we'll probably be sleeping in."

"Uh . . . Uh . . . I . . . won't . . ." Tom stuttered. He turned and fled.

"What a moron!" Tom heard the other Tom mutter just before the holodeck doors closed behind him. He leaned back panting breathlessly, slouched against the holodeck doors.

"Computer, end program." He pressed a spot on the panel and the disc popped out into his hand. He stared at it as if it were a poisonous insect.

"I don't believe it," he breathed. But there it was sitting in the palm of his hand. He and Harry. Harry and him. Oh, God.

Tom sat in his quarters, at his desk, staring at the disc in front of him. Harry had one just like this. How often did Harry play this thing? Tom was distinctly uncomfortable with the thoughts that were filling his mind.

He should be furious, absolutely furious. Nobody is supposed to use Starfleet personnel in their private holoprograms. It's against regulations. And Harry had thrown regulations out the window. Harry, _Mister_ Regulation, had done it. Tom's mind just couldn't accept it. Harry?!

And yet he wasn't angry, not really. It was something he might have done himself. Something he had often been tempted to do. Yeah, he'd always wanted to program a sweet docile B'Elanna Torres; more for a personal private revenge than anything else. That woman had spurned his advances one too many times for his ego's comfort. But this?

Harry wanted to sleep with Tom. Harry wanted to do more than just sleep with Tom, that was obvious. How had he known that Tom slept in the nude? Or had he just programmed it that way for . . . convenience. Tom was starting to get hot under the collar just thinking about it.

And the frustrating thing about it was, how could he go to Harry and complain? How could he say, hey Harry, this is wrong, you shouldn't be doing this? How could he say that when he himself had violated Starfleet codes of ethics and security measures to get hold of the disc in the first place. He had invaded Harry's privacy as well.

So, now what did he do? Could he handle it, knowing Harry was using a holoversion of himself for sex? It just didn't sound like Harry. Harry was so . . . well, so reserved, so shy. He had always seen Harry as, somehow, undersexed. Maybe he didn't know Harry as well as he thought he did.

Still, he couldn't accept that Harry was having sexual fantasies about him, and that Harry felt he needed a holoprogram to express them in. The idea was mind-boggling. Maybe the whole episode on the holodeck had been a hallucination. But, there was the damn disc sitting on the desk in front of him. Should he go and run it again, just to make sure? No, Tom shuddered. No, he couldn't do that again. Then, it had to be real, didn't it? He'd really already accepted that it had been real. He was just having trouble facing it.

How was he going to be able to act like everything was the same the next time he saw Harry, knowing what he knew now? That was going to be almost impossible. He didn't have the faintest idea how he'd do it.

And Harry. How did Harry carry on day after day, accepting Tom's comraderie, hanging around drinking beers, playing pool, joking about well-endowed female crewmembers? How could he spend hours having sex with a make believe Tom on the holodeck and then get up in the morning and smile and joke as he sat opposite the real Tom in the mess hall? Who was the real Harry?

Tom didn't know what to do. He couldn't exactly ask anyone for advice. So, leave it for now, was his decision; at least until the shock had worn off and he could think straight again.

Tom slid the disc into his computer terminal, and when the readout was displayed, he hit delete. No way did he want anyone getting their hands on that accidentally. He wished he could put Harry's copy under better security. If Tom had been able to steal it, someone else could too.

Harry came back from his away mission and everything was so normal between them, Tom just let the issue drift. Why stir up anything? They nodded to each other on passing in the mess hall and on the bridge. They worked together in the shuttle bay making adjustments to the controls of one of the shuttles. They ate the evening meal with B'Elanna and Carey and then played a couple of games of pool in Sandrine's.

Harry left early saying he was still feeling exhausted from all the hiking they had to do down on the planet. Tom told him to get some rest. Harry smiled and walked out. Tom had doubts about that smile.

How come I never noticed that smile before, Tom asked himself. He had always taken Harry's smiles at face value before. Harry was always smiling. He guessed Harry was the kind of happy-go-lucky guy who smiled a lot. Maybe he had never looked into those eyes before and read what he had just read behind that smile. There had been a wryness, and a hint of cynicism to the twist of those lips tonight. As if, when Tom wished him a perfunctory good night, Harry was thinking, 'yeah, right.'

He had expected a throw-away comment from Tom and had accepted it as such. Throw-away. Meaningless. And it had brought out cynicism and a self-deprecating humour in Harry that Tom had never noticed before. Had he ever really watched Harry's reactions this closely before? Why not? He was supposed to be my best friend. Didn't I care enough, Tom asked himself. Had Harry decided that I didn't really care? Tom found himself scowling at the pool table. Damn Harry for messing up Tom's uncomplicated life.

Harry slid the disc into the control panel and keyed in his program. The holodeck doors slid open and Harry ordered, "Computer, engage privacy lock."

"Privacy lock engaged."

"Tom? You home yet?" Harry spoke into the seeming emptiness of the holodeck recreation of Tom Paris' quarters.

A familiar figure appeared at the bedroom door. "Hi, Harry," the holo-version of Tom smiled welcomingly. "Just got in myself. Come on and get in the shower with me and I'll rub your tired shoulders for you."

Harry couldn't smile at this familiar gambit. Not tonight. He was tired. Actually, too tired for sex, when you came right down to it. But . . . he needed to be held. And this Tom would hold him all night long if he wanted it.

Holo-Tom put his arm around Harry and pulled him into the bedroom, reaching for the fastenings on Harry's uniform. Harry let himself be undressed. He let himself be led gently into the shower. He closed his eyes and let this creature from his deepest dreams wash him all over with gentle and adoring hands.

"You want to wash me?" his Tom asked with a smile in his big blue eyes. Harry couldn't return it. He just couldn't. This wasn't Tom. This was Harry masturbating himself. And he felt a sudden wave of disgust at the weakness that had brought him to this. But all he did was shake his head in negation.

The fake Tom just shrugged his shoulders. "Too tired tonight, Harry?" he asked. Harry just nodded. "That's okay." This Tom kissed Harry's lips and picked up the soap bar again. "I know you like watching just as much as doing anyway," he smirked, beginning to wash himself. Every so often he'd touch himself intimately and look up to check the expression on Harry's face and then look down to check the status of Harry's limp penis. When he was finished washing himself, he moved past Harry to step under the water, brushing up suggestively against Harry's unresponsive body. When he was done rinsing off, he pushed Harry under the water and made sure he was all rinsed off as well, a totally unnecessary procedure, but a good opportunity to tease Harry's body some more, to no effect.

The holodeck Tom finally turned off the shower and regarded Harry with a sad expression. "You must really be down tonight, love," he said. "Not even so much as a quiver from that beautiful dick of yours." He shook his head sadly, then perked up noticeably when he seemed to come to some decision. "I know what'll do the trick." He pulled Harry out of the shower and dried them both slowly, languidly, taking time to caress Harry again and again. Then he pulled a still-acquiescent Harry after him into the bedroom and pushed him down onto the bed.

Harry had only programmed this Tom with a limited variety of sexual techniques; nothing too wild. He idly wondered which one his holo-lover had decided would do the trick tonight; and if he was going to be right.

He lay down beside Harry and proceeded to embark on an exploration of every inch of Harry's skin with his mobile mouth, with one obvious exception. Harry was amused and skeptical about his lover's success in achieving his goal. So far, the kissing had been pleasantly erotic, but his body had still not responded.

That is, until his holo-lover bent and took that limp penis into his mouth and began to suck on it gently, and then not so gently. Harry looked down to see that fair head bent over him, and those freckled shoulders, and the insistent pulling of that beautifully molded mouth on his penis, and he thought, 'Tom.' His holo-lover crowed in delight as Harry's penis flooded with blood and hardened almost instantaneously. The kneeling man lifted his head and grinned in triumph at his beloved Harry, before returning to his loving task.

Harry closed his eyes and imagined it really was Tom. And that thought was so exciting, that in mere minutes his lover was swallowing his ejaculate in noisy gulps. He soothed Harry's shaking body with hands and lips for endless minutes and then stretched out beside him and took Harry into his strong arms.

"I love you, Tom," Harry moaned into his shoulder. He couldn't help himself. It just burst out of his mind and was voiced by his mouth. The moment he said it he felt panic and regret. But he'd said it so often already to this dream being, how could he take it back now?

"And I lo. . ." his dream-Tom's words were cut off by Harry's hand fastening itself over his mouth. No. It was wrong for Tom to say it. Why had he programmed this Tom to say that? Tom would never say that to Harry. Even if, by some wild stretch of the imagination, they ever became lovers, Tom would _never_ say he loved him.

"Don't say it," Harry begged. His lover's eyes went wide with disbelief. "Just for tonight, don't say it. Please?" He released his Tom's mouth.

"Harry?" dream-Tom questioned.

"Please?" Harry pleaded again.

"All right, Harry. Whatever you say." The holodeck Tom looked at him with a worried expression on his face. Then he just drew Harry close and held him in his arms.

Tom Paris, the real Tom Paris, stood in his quarters feeling frustrated and anxious and angry. It was past midnight and he couldn't even fathom trying to sleep. So, did he go to the holodeck and run through a calisthenics program, or go back to Sandrine's and play pool with a holodeck character? Would a hot shower help? What the hell was he going to do?

"Computer, is holodeck one in use?"

"Holodeck one is currently in use," came the answer.

"Shit," Tom growled. Then an absolutely awful idea hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Computer, who is in holodeck one?"

"Holodeck one is currently being used by Ensign Harry Kim."

"Shit!" Tom felt sick to his stomach. He had to know. Without further thought he strode out of his quarters and headed for the turbolift.

In minutes, Tom was standing outside holodeck one. "Computer, display program data for program currently in use." There it was: File name: Kim 3. Harry was actually in there now with Tom's holodouble. "Computer, has privacy lock been engaged?"

"Privacy lock has been engaged," came the computer's confirmation.

"Oh, God," Tom moaned.

"Repeat request," the computer asked.

"No further requests," Tom answered tersely. Oh, he couldn't handle this. He just couldn't handle this. Tom pushed himself away from the wall of the corridor and headed back to his quarters.

Soon, Tom was back in his quarters pacing again. He had to _do_ something. An idea came to him. He didn't think it through, he just reacted.

"Paris to Kim," he keyed his communicator. Silence. "Paris to Kim."

Finally, "Kim here." There was a pause. "What is it, Tom? It's after midnight."

"Sorry, Harry," Tom couldn't keep his voice from wavering. "Were you asleep?"

Another long pause. "Getting there," Harry answered.

"Harry, I know it's late, but . . . could I talk to you?" Tom hated the whiny note in his voice. God, he was really losing it.

"Tom," Harry sounded irritated and angry. "Can't this wait until morning?"

Tom chickened out. "Yeah, Harry. Yeah, it can wait until morning. Sure. Yeah, I'll uh . . . I'll . . ."

"Tom," Harry's voice broke into Tom's stuttering. "What is wrong?"

"Harry, could you come over for a while?" Tom couldn't believe he was doing this. What the hell was he going to say to Harry if he actually came?

There was silence for long minutes. They stretched alarmingly. Tom didn't know what else to say to fill in the void.

"Yeah," Harry finally said. He didn't sound too happy with his decision. But hell, how many times had Tom asked for Harry in the middle of the night? He must think it's important. "Give me a few minutes," Harry added.

"Hey, thanks Harry. I really appreciate this," Tom gushed, relieved.

"Yeah, you'd better, Tom," Harry grated tiredly. "Kim out."

......................................................................

Fifteen minutes later, Tom's door chimes keyed and he strode to it saying "Come." Harry was standing there in a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, slippers on his feet. Tom grabbed his arm and pulled him over the threshold and the door swished shut.

"Thanks for coming, Harry," Tom said, staring at his friend's unreadable expression. Harry just stared back solemnly. "Sit down, Harry," Tom gestured towards the sofa and Harry walked over and sat at one end, making himself comfortable against the cushions. Just like he always does in my quarters, Tom thought.

"All right, Tom," Harry began calmly. "You got me out of bed and brought me over here in the middle of the night. This had better be good."

Tom swallowed. This was going to sound so lame, but he had no idea what else to do.

"Um, I just . . . needed to have someone here, Harry . . . to talk to . . . for a while," he paused. "Um, I had . . . like, a flashback, to something that happened in prison . . . and, um, I . . . didn't want to be . . . alone . . . right now." Did Harry believe him?

Harry was frowning at him. "Have you had flashbacks before?" Tom had never mentioned any to him before. Harry was having a hard time believing that Tom was confiding this to him now.

"Not recently," Tom answered. God, he felt such a fraud. He hated lying to Harry. He could see that Harry was going to swallow the whole thing, hook, line and sinker. He felt like a heel doing this, manipulating Harry's feelings. He hadn't bargained on this. What liar _does_ think about the consequences _before_ they've told their lie?

"Does the doc or the captain know about them?" Harry asked.

"No." Tom was feeling worse by the minute.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Harry asked, his voice gentling.

"No." Tom didn't know what else to say. How could he compound one lie with a dozen others? He just couldn't make up a traumatic story for Harry and watch Harry agonize over every detail of Tom's supposed pain.

"Well," Harry looked at Tom thoughtfully. "What exactly do you want me to do, Tom?"

"Harry," Tom looked him in the eye. At least he didn't have to fake this part. "Harry, could you just spend some time with me? I mean, you don't have to stay all night. But, could you maybe, stay a little while? I hate to ask you. I mean, I know you have just as much work to do tomorrow as anyone else, but . . . it would really be a help if you could . . . just, kind of, keep me company for a while . . ." That part was true. He didn't want Harry going back to that holoprogram tonight. Not if he could help it.

Harry's suddenly expressive face was a veritable catalogue of emotions. First, he looked slightly suspicious. This melted into concern, which in turn smoothed out into wry humour, which faded slightly into amused acceptance.

"Sure, Tom," Harry nodded once with a small smile. "I can stay for a couple of hours. Do you want to play cards to take your mind off it?" he suggested.

"Actually," Tom confessed, "I don't think I could concentrate very well right now." Ain't it the truth!

"No, I guess not," Harry conceded.

"We could watch a new vid Neelix gave me," Tom suggested. A vid. Nice, neutral; we don't even have to talk. About anything.

"What's it about?" Harry shifted his position on the sofa and Tom walked over to the vid player and set it up to play.

"Well, when we were back there on earth, you know, the earth of the past?" Harry nodded. "Well, Neelix and Kes were monitoring earth broadcasts of all kinds, and Neelix and Kes loved the stuff they were broadcasting so much that they started recording it and downloading it into the main computer banks. So, we now have a pretty extensive library of late 20th century earth vids. Neelix is letting a select number of the crew try them out, before asking the captain's permission to open the library up to the whole crew. He asked me to have a look at this one. It's supposed to be about some kid who wants to be a space pilot. He thought I might get a kick out of it."

"What's it called?" Harry asked.

Tom checked the vid case. "Star Wars," he replied. "Sounds kind of hokey, huh?"

"Hey, I've heard worse," Harry laughed.

Tom turned the machine on and joined Harry on the sofa. He glanced over at Harry. His hair was slightly damp. Jesus, he'd had to take a shower before coming over. That meant . . . Jesus! His skin was still a bit flushed and he smelled like soap. Tom was . . . now just hold on a minute there, Tom ordered his wayward mind. You're not going to think like that about Harry, he told himself. Just because Harry was sleeping with your double, didn't mean . . . well, it didn't mean . . .

"You want something to drink, Harry?" Tom jumped up from the sofa. How the hell was he going to be able to sit beside Harry thinking thoughts like that?

"Tea would be nice," Harry glanced up at Tom's retreating figure and then back at the screen.

"Tea it is, Harry," Tom said as cheerfully as he could. As he returned with their drinks, Harry started laughing at something in the vid as it played on the screen in front of him. "What's so funny?" Tom asked as he handed Harry his tea. He sat down, cradling his coffee mug between his hands.

"Look at this guy in the fur," Harry gestured towards the screen, laughing.

"What the hell is he supposed to be?" Tom hadn't been following the story very closely.

"He's this other pilot's sidekick. Some kind of alien. Wait until you hear him wail!" Harry couldn't stop laughing.

"Well, what's so funny about that?" Tom didn't get the joke. So the guy in the fur suit looked kind of ridiculous. So what?

"Oh, you wouldn't understand, Tom. Sorry. It's kind of a private joke. But it sure is funny," Harry continued to chuckle, more quietly now.

"Spill," Tom gave Harry a mock-order, gesturing with one hand towards himself.

Harry grinned and then shrugged. "Well, he doesn't really look anything like him, but he reminds me of a friend of mine from my Academy days."

"You knew a seven-foot-tall walking rug in Starfleet Academy?" Tom's eyebrows rose in astonishment.

"Well, he was actually a very nice guy, once you got past the intimidating exterior," Harry's smile was sweetly reminiscent. "He and I became good friends."

"You're kidding." Tom was looking at Harry suspiciously. "You're having me on, right?"

Harry looked at Tom, shook his head and smiled. "No, I'm not kidding. He didn't look much like that guy there in the costume. His fur was reddish and had a real sleek look to it. The women loved him. He wore a translator braided into the fur at his ear, hanging on a chain, like an earring, and his translated voice was husky and very attractive. He was polite to a fault. He made it a special project of his to learn every terran custom he could. He was an ambassador's son and very well educated."

"You're not joking," Tom breathed, stunned at the tone of voice Harry was using to describe this strange creature. He sounded like he loved the guy.

"No," Harry agreed.

"Were you in love with him?" Tom asked in a quiet voice. It really wasn't his business, but it was so intriguing. Harry in love with an alien ambassador's son who was big and furry and polite. It sure sounded like a joke.

Harry looked at Tom, trying to gauge Tom's reasons for asking that particular question. "Yeah, I was," Harry confessed. He was waiting for Tom to make it into a joke. Harry was shocked to his core when Tom asked his next question.

"Were you and he lovers?"

Tom's expression was serious. He really wanted to know. Where had this curiosity about Harry's private life come from all of a sudden? "Yeah," Harry found himself answering. He never thought he'd tell another soul about that relationship. It had been so extraordinary. And here he was telling Tom, of all people. Gee, life was full of surprises, Harry thought.

"Do you mind my asking about it?" Tom couldn't help himself. He really wanted to know about this strange sounding relationship of Harry's. He wanted to know about everything in that very private life of Harry's that he kept hidden from everyone.

"Do you really want to know?" Harry returned.

"Yeah," Tom said.

"Why?" Harry countered.

"Cause I feel like I'm just getting to know you, Harry. Hell, we've been friends for almost two years and I get the feeling that I don't really know you at all."

Harry grinned in amusement. "Ditto, Tom. You don't let anybody get close enough to know the real you, either."

Tom nodded in acknowledgement of the truth of that statement. "Yeah, well, I've had problems with trust in the past, you know?" He grinned back at Harry.

"Yeah," Harry nodded too. "I kind of figured that much out for myself." He paused, looking at the vid screen that they had virtually been ignoring for some time now, and then looked back at Tom. "Why don't you turn that thing off," he suggested.

Tom did just that and then returned to the sofa and made himself comfortable against the cushions at the opposite end to Harry.

"So," said Harry, when Tom was seated. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything," Tom said simply.

"Everything?" Harry echoed.

"Yeah," Tom agreed.

"Well, let's see. I met him in my second year. He'd just arrived on Earth. His parents enrolled him in the Academy to get him familiar with Starfleet and humans. He was already well-educated by his planet's standards, so the courses he took were mainly just to pass the time more than as any special training. It was expected that he'd eventually follow his father's footsteps into a diplomatic career. He was only there for a year anyway."

"How much of that year did you know him?" Tom asked.

"Actually, I met him on his first day at the Academy. I was on duty showing new cadets around the place and making sure they found their quarters and knew how to get to the mess hall, that kind of stuff."

"And you became friends, right off," Tom suggested.

"No. Not for months and months. He was very friendly with the women cadets, but he tended to avoid getting involved in activities with the male cadets. There was a running joke at the time that he actually _was_ female. It was hard to tell with all that fur." Harry was smiling.

"So, what happened?" Tom insisted, pulling Harry back from his vision of the past.

"Well, we seemed to keep running into each other, even though we didn't have any classes together. He was always asking me questions about terran customs. He seemed very concerned about not breaking any taboos or offending anybody. And we got talking one evening in the lounge about the differences between his people and terrans and the topic of his fur was mentioned. Now, I was really careful not to say anything derogatory about the fact that he was covered from head to toe in fur, because in actual fact, it was quite beautiful fur and I told him I thought so. I also told him that I thought most of the terran females that I had seen him with would probably think so too, and that was probably one of the reasons he was so popular with them. And he asked me the strangest question. He said, was his fur the reason why he was _not_ as popular with male terrans. Well, I had to stop and really think about that one. I said, that it may be so, but that I personally found him very attractive and that his fur did not offend or repel me in any way. He seemed fascinated by this. He also told me that he had had occasion to see a female terran unclothed and had noticed that they were almost completely hairless. He asked me if male terrans were the same. I told him that some were and some weren't, but that none had anything as beautiful as his fur on their bodies. And then he kind of surprised me when he asked if he could see for himself. I said I was sure when he had made a close friend among the terran males that they wouldn't mind showing him anything that he wanted to see. And he said that I was his only male friend on the planet and would I show him. And that's how we ended up in his private quarters checking out each other's equipment, and one thing led to another and . . ."

"You had sex," Tom said.

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "His physiology was a little different from ours, but not enough to pose any problems. And he was really, quite, quite beautiful. And sensitive about his appearance. And fascinated by mine. He wanted to know everything there was to know about the male terran body, so I guessed that he was attracted to males rather than females."

"And I suppose you offered to show him everything there was to know."

Harry laughed in embarrassment. "Yeah, we pretty well covered all the bases before we were through."

"Did he fall in love with you?" Tom asked gently.

"Yeah, I think he did," Harry answered thoughtfully. "We never actually declared our affections for each other, if that's what you want to know. But it was very emotional for both of us when he left at the end of the year. We had really become very close."

"Do you miss him?" Tom studied the gentle expression on Harry's face. He didn't look sad.

"No, not in any intense way," Harry confessed. "I haven't thought about him in ages."

"I thought . . ." Tom didn't know whether he should mention this or not.

"You thought what?" Harry prompted easily.

"I thought you were . . . you know, completely hetero," Tom said, slightly embarrassed.

Harry laughed a bit. "You know, I thought I was too, until I found myself tangled up in a gigantic bed with a seven-foot male alien covered in fur." He grinned at Tom.

Tom laughed. "Surprise, surprise!"

"You can say that again!" Harry joined in Tom's laughter.

Slowly the laughter died. Tom was left gazing at a suddenly serious Harry. He thought, perhaps if I asked him about it now, when we seem to be on the same wavelength, we can discuss it without anyone's feelings getting hurt.

"What, Tom?" Harry asked. "I can see you are dying to ask me something. Go ahead and ask."

"Are you sure, Harry?" Tom warned. "It's very personal."

Harry studied Tom for a while, wondering what that question could be. Tom seemed almost afraid to ask this question, whatever it was. Harry couldn't ever remember Tom not having the chutzpah to blunder through any delicate situation and damn the consequences. A considerate Tom was quite a change; a nice change.

"It's about my sex life, is it?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," Tom answered, blushing.

"I was under the impression you thought you knew everything there was to know about my sex life, Tom." Harry's voice was filled with a grim kind of humour.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I can be a real jerk, can't I?" Tom returned Harry's grim smile.

"Sometimes," Harry agreed.

"Only sometimes?" Tom's voice held an edge.

"Tom, when you let yourself, you can be a wonderful guy," Harry tried for sincerity, but it came out more intense than he would have liked. "I really like that Tom Paris. You've no idea how much I like that Tom Paris. But I don't get to see him very often. I wish he was around a whole lot more than he is, and that's the truth."

"That Tom Paris gets hurt too easily, Harry," Tom dropped his eyes from that intense gaze. He studied the coffee dregs in his mug instead.

"I would never hurt you, Tom. Not in a million years," Harry vowed.

Tom looked up. He sounded like he meant it. "Then tell me something, Harry," Tom asked evenly. Yes, this was a good time to get it out into the open. No matter what came of it. And maybe, just maybe, he wasn't as afraid of the consequences as he had been a couple of hours ago.

"Ask," Harry said.

Tom took a deep breath and then let it out. "Why did you make yourself a holoprogram of me sleeping in my quarters?"

Harry stared blankly at Tom. Then he blinked, twice. Then his eyes widened into saucers and a blush rose from his neck right up to his hairline and he looked away from Tom, heaving a sigh and releasing the breath that he had been holding the whole time.

"Oh, God," Harry said in a strangled, high-pitched croak.

There was an uncomfortable silence as both men tried to think of what to say next.

"You can tell me, Harry," Tom said in a quiet voice. He knew he was as much to blame for this situation as Harry.

Harry turned and frowned at Tom. "How did you find it?"

"I stole it from your files," Tom said evenly.

Harry's brows rose at that information. "How the hell did you do that?" he asked.

"You don't want to know, Harry. Believe me," Tom gave the ghost of a smile. It passed quickly over his lips and then disappeared.

"Have you . . ." Harry left the question hanging.

"Yeah, I met my twin," Tom's lips quivered with humour again.

"Shit!" Harry said and looked away again.

"How long have you had it?" Tom asked gently. There was no anger in him at all. He couldn't believe that he had ever been angry. He didn't want to hurt Harry. He had a feeling if this wasn't handled carefully, Harry might be badly hurt.

"I finished it a couple of months ago," Harry muttered, still refusing to meet Tom's eyes.

"He says you've been together almost a year," Tom said.

"Yeah, well, I programmed him that way," Harry tried to explain. "I thought it would make it easier."

"Who for?" Tom was almost grinning. This whole conversation was so unreal, it bordered on the insane. Harry must have heard the note of amusement creeping into Tom's voice because he finally looked at him.

"Tom, why aren't you mad as hell?" Harry asked incredulously.

"Well," Tom started thinking out loud. "I was in shock for a while. But it's starting to wear off."

"I don't believe this," Harry shook his head.

"That's what I said to myself when I saw _him_ ," Tom countered. Harry groaned and looked away again. "Why, Harry?" Tom asked softly.

"It's . . . complicated," Harry said in an undertone.

"We've got all night, Harry," Tom pointed out.

Harry looked up again. "You knew I was in there tonight when you called me on the comlink."

"Yeah," Tom confessed. "I couldn't . . . well, I couldn't handle the thought of you in there with him."

"Hmmm," Harry nodded. "I'm surprised you didn't, you know, do something . . . drag me out of there, or call Security, or something."

"Harry," Tom tried to explain his position. "I've broken as many rules as you have. That's not the issue here. This is something private between you and me and nobody else. I want you to tell me about it. I like to think I know you, Harry. You don't do things without a damn good reason. You didn't just make up a complicated program like that for a joke. I want to know why, Harry."

"I'm sorry, Tom. I shouldn't have done it," Harry mumbled.

"Agreed," Tom countered. "Apology accepted. Now answer the question, Harry."

"This isn't easy to explain, Tom," Harry said.

"I'm not suggesting it is," Tom said gently. "But I deserve an answer, don't you think?"

Harry looked up and into Tom's eyes finally. Harry's were full of some as yet unnamed torment. Tom almost ached to see it. He wanted to help Harry. He wanted to understand.

"I needed him," Harry blurted out, and then looked away again.

"Why?" Tom asked, bewildered.

"Because . . ." Harry's tortured expression just about made Tom reach out for him. "Because he's the only . . . way . . . that I . . ." Harry stumbled to a halt and buried his face in his hands.

Tom couldn't take it any more. He slid down the sofa to Harry's side and pulled his friend into his arms. Harry tried to push him away, but Tom hung on doggedly.

"Tell me, Harry," he said and pulled Harry's head against his chest.

Harry's voice was strangled when he continued. "I can't . . . do it . . . without . . . fantasizing about . . . you . . . or being with . . . him." The confession came out in an agonized tone.

"Harry . . ." Tom couldn't believe what he just heard.

"It's true," Harry mumbled into Tom's chest.

"But . . ." Tom was ready to argue.

"I tried," Harry moaned. "I've been trying and trying. I tried with every woman on the volleyball team. Hell, I tried with every guy on the men's team. Nothing worked!"

Tom was speechless. He'd never experienced anything like this in his life. God, it sounded like every guy's secret nightmare come true.

"Maybe you should have tried with a real person, Harry," Tom suggested.

"That's easy for you to say," Harry sat up and stared at him with an angry expression in his eyes. "Every time I make a pass at someone they say, 'Oh, you're so sweet, Harry.' Every time I kiss a woman she giggles. Every time I make a suggestion to a guy they slap me on the back and laugh like it's some big joke. The only one I got to first base with was Jenny Delaney." Here Harry shuddered. "God, that woman is a barracuda. She just about swallowed me alive. And then . . . and then . . ." Harry pressed his face back into Tom's chest. An incoherent mumble escaped against Tom's shirt. "She laughed . . ."

Tom tightened his arms around Harry. There was a grim set to his mouth. The bitch! he thought viciously.

"Harry . . ." Tom began again.

"No!" Harry spit out. "It doesn't work. Nothing works except daydreaming about you while I use my hand. And I . . . well, I . . . I got to the point where I wanted to hold onto somebody. I wanted to hold onto something besides my own dick." Harry pulled himself out of Tom's arms angrily. "I'll go and delete it right now. I'll go and destroy the damn thing. I should never have made it." He rushed towards the door and was striding down the corridor leaving Tom sitting stunned and alone in his quarters.

Tom became lost in his own thoughts, pondering Harry's revelations. What would he have done in Harry's position? Well, the truth was, Tom had never had trouble finding sex partners with his looks and family background. But Harry, well, Harry was just too nice for most people to take him seriously as a sexual aggressor. He could imagine Harry trying to make a pass at Megan Delaney. She was even worse than her sister. Poor Harry. Why hadn't he asked Tom to help him? Oh, right . . . Tom forgot for a moment. Tom was one of the people Harry wanted to make a pass at. But he never had.

Tom became aware of the fact that he was still sitting on his sofa alone and Harry was out there somewhere feeling like some kind of pervert.

"Computer, what is the location of Ensign Kim?"

"Ensign Kim is in holodeck one."

He's still there? That's not so good, Tom thought. Should he go and find out what Harry's doing in holodeck one? What if he's saying good bye to you-know-who? Grabbing one last quickie for old time's sake? Now _that_ would be an embarrassing thing to break in on.

"Computer, has privacy lock been initiated on holodeck one?"

"Privacy lock has not been initiated on holodeck one."

Well, that answers that question. Tom got up and headed off for holodeck one. At least they shouldn't run into anyone asking embarrassing questions in the corridors at this hour.

......................................................................

The doors of holodeck one opened on Tom's command and there in the middle of Tom's holoquarters sat Harry, hollow-eyed and staring into space. He looked up as the doors opened and Tom stepped in.

"Is he still around?" Tom asked, looking towards the bedroom doorway.

"No," Harry sounded as bad as he looked. "I deleted him before I came in," he said. "I . . . I couldn't . . . face him."

"Come on, Harry," Tom went over to him. "Let's get you back to your quarters."

"I can't," Harry looked down at his hands as if they held some answer he was seeking. "I can't sleep. I'd rather stay here and . . . think."

"About what, Harry?" Tom sat down beside him.

"About what I'm going to do next," Harry said quietly.

"Well, if you won't go back to your quarters," Tom said, "come back with me to mine."

Harry raised his head and looked suspiciously at Tom. "I won't be able to sleep there either." He frowned.

"Oh, I don't know about that," Tom said nonchalantly, a plan forming in his mind. Did he have the nerve to carry it out? Did he really _want_ to carry it out? "Why don't you come back and try. I'm not going to let you sit here in this holodeck all night anyway." Tom smiled at Harry and hoped it looked reassuring. Trust me, Harry, he thought, but didn't say it out loud.

"Why are you being so nice, Tom?" Harry finally asked. That seemed to him to be the crux of the matter.

Tom was still smiling. He hauled Harry unceremoniously to his feet to stand beside him. "Because I care about you, Harry," Tom said.

"Tom . . ." Harry began.

"Come on," Tom said and pulled him out of the holodeck. As the doors closed behind them, he turned and said, "Computer, end program. Eject disc." He handed the disc to Harry. Then he put his arm around Harry's shoulders and led him to the turbolift.

When they entered Tom's quarters, Harry walked over to the sofa and stood staring down at it with his hands on his hips. "I still don't think I can get to sleep."

"Nonsense, Harry," Tom joked. "Once we get you settled you're going to sleep like a baby."

Harry turned to give him a skeptical grimace. "Sure. Sure." He looked back at the sofa. "Well, give me a couple of blankets and I'll see what happens once I'm bunked down on the sofa."

Tom walked over to him and clasped both of Harry's shoulders in his hands and started steering Harry gently away from the sofa and deeper into the room. "First things first, Harry, my boy. First a nice hot shower to help you relax and then a cup of hot cocoa, just like my mama would order." Tom steered Harry's reluctant body through the bedroom door and into the adjoining bathroom. He pushed Harry the rest of the way in and then closed the door on him. "You're not coming out until I've heard that shower running for at least five minutes, so you might as well get in it," Tom spoke to Harry through the closed door.

There was silence for a minute. Then Tom heard a muttered curse and the word 'slavedriver' and then the shower turned on.

Harry was standing in the shower stall with the steam rising and the hot water hitting him full in the face when he heard a noise and turned to see Tom stepping into the shower stall with him. Harry's jaw dropped and he just stared at Tom in shock. He licked his lips and swallowed. Then he found his voice.

"Tom," he practically squeaked. He tried again. "Tom, what the hell are you doing?" Did he sound as panicked as he felt?

"Showering with you, Harry," Tom spoke as if to someone with limited intelligence.

Harry was speechless. He took one long look at Tom's beautiful body and then turned his back and faced the hot pounding water again. God, what kind of game was this? Did Tom know what he was doing to him?

A breathless moment of silence passed and then Harry felt soap-slick hands moving up and down his back, sliding over his shoulders and sweeping down his sides to caress and finally grip his buttocks. Harry jumped.

"Tom!" Harry yelled. The hands slid up to rest on Harry's waist.

"What, Harry?" was the calm reply.

"Why are you doing this?!" Harry's voice was pleading.

"I think that's fairly obvious, Harry," Tom replied and the hands began to move again, sliding up to slickly caress the column of Harry's neck.

Harry tried to pull away and press himself against the wall of the shower stall. The water fell in a curtain between his body and Tom. "Damnit! I don't need your pity, Tom!" Harry gritted his teeth.

"You call this pity?" Tom almost laughed.

Harry turned to look over his shoulder at Tom through the curtain of water. Tom's expression was rueful, his blue eyes were fairly dancing with humour. As Harry continued to stare into them, Tom's eyebrows slowly rose. Harry straightened away from the shower wall and glanced down. And froze.

Tom's penis was beautifully erect and swaying with Tom's every shift in weight. Harry couldn't tear his gaze away from it. It wasn't at all as he had imagined it, or had programmed it into his holoversion of Tom. The real thing was flushed a healthy red and was a good deal bigger. And incredibly beautiful, rising from its nest of dark blond curls.

"Go ahead," Tom said gently, still smiling. Harry tore his gaze away from the object of his desire and looked into Tom's eyes. His questioned, and Tom just repeated, "Go ahead, Harry." Harry looked down and noticed for the first time that his hand had been hovering just out of reach of that beautiful penis and he snatched it away and blushed beet red. God, he couldn't even control his own hands, Harry thought to himself. And that wasn't all he couldn't control.

Tom reached out and caressed Harry's erection with one soapy hand. "Nice, Harry," he said softly. "Very nice." Harry was mesmerized by the movement of that hand on his body. The feel of it was almost more than Harry could stand, and he moaned Tom's name. Tom's other hand came up to move slowly and surely over the expanse of Harry's chest, pausing deliberately to tease his nipples.

Harry forgot his reluctance. He forgot his scruples. He forgot that Tom was his best friend and he might not be able to face him in the morning. He went with the craving that was taking over his body and mind to the exclusion of all coherent thought. He reached out with his own hands and began to touch Tom. He let his hands roam all over Tom's chest and shoulders and arms. He trailed lazy fingers over Tom's nipples, ran his fingers through the tangle of wet curls between Tom's legs and then finally used both hands to capture that beautiful penis and tease it until Tom's legs were trembling.

"Harry . . ." Tom groaned. They had to get out of this damn shower and onto a bed. Now!

Tom reached past Harry and turned off the shower. He pushed open the shower door and turning, took Harry's hands away from his body and stepped out into the bathroom. He grabbed a towel and pushed it into Harry's hands. Then he grabbed one for himself and turned his back, rubbing at his dripping hair.

He shouldn't have been surprised that Harry didn't immediately start drying himself, but he was. He jumped when he felt wet hands run along his damp shoulders and down his slick back. Like lightning they cupped and then parted his buttocks and urgent fingers slid between to rub teasingly against the puckered opening there.

Tom pulled himself away and turned to capture the questing hands.

"Harry . . ." Tom warned with a teasing glint in his own eyes. "Get dry. You're dripping."

"So are you," Harry said with a grin. He pulled his hands from between Tom's and grabbing the towel he had slung over his shoulder, he started wiping water from his face and then his arms.

Tom was drying himself quickly and backing into the bedroom at the same time. "Don't drip on my carpet," he warned. He threw his towel at Harry and then fled into the bedroom. Harry laughed. He slung Tom's towel over the shower door and then headed for the bedroom, drying himself slowly along the way.

Harry passed through the doorway into the bedroom with the towel over his head drying his hair. He looked up and stopped in his tracks. Tom was seated on the bed, leaning back on both hands, legs stretched out in front of him. God, thought Harry. Was he posing like that on purpose? He wouldn't put it past him. Harry's hands stilled in his damp hair as he took in the view: blonde and impossibly fair-skinned, muscular body provocatively posed, proud erection thrusting into the air, and the promise of hair-raising excitement in those brilliant blue eyes.

Tom was equally absorbed. Harry was standing as still as a statue, arms raised above his head, shoulder muscles bulging. Tom had not turned on a light in the bedroom, but the light from the outer room fell through the door, across the floor and hit Harry's body squarely as he stood between the two doorways. His sleek torso gleamed golden, the nipples dark shadows on the smooth hairless chest. Strong muscular thighs narrowed down to firmly planted feet. And in between lay a dense black forest of pubic hair that splayed up onto the flat belly and down between the hard thighs, hiding his scrotum. But nothing could hide that gorgeous erection from Tom's gaze. He stared at it so long he was surprised when it suddenly swayed. Tom looked up to find Harry moving towards the bed.

Harry knelt on the bed and pushed Tom onto his back with one hand. He lay down half on top of Tom and stared down at him.

"Tom, have you ever . . . made love to a man before?" Harry asked, looking into those blue eyes that were smiling provocatively at him. He'd watched Tom flirt with dozens of people, but Harry had never before had that devastating charm directed at him.

"Yeah," Tom answered. He raised himself up forcefully on one elbow, rolling Harry over onto his back. Then he leaned over and brushed Harry's firm lips with his.

"Then . . . would you make love to me?" Harry asked. God, he _is_ too sweet to be real, thought Tom.

"On one condition," Tom answered. Harry's eyebrows rose towards his hairline. "That you make love to _me_ afterwards." And he smiled that smile again that made Harry start to sweat.

"Are you sure?" Harry whispered against Tom's seeking lips.

"Yeah," Tom whispered against Harry's lips. "I'm sure."

"Okay," Harry said and then he couldn't say anything further because Tom was kissing him so thoroughly that his mouth and tongue were occupied for some time.

When they were both panting for breath, Tom gasped out, "How do you want this, Harry?"

"Take me, Tom," Harry told him. "For God's sake, take me!"

Tom helped Harry roll over onto his stomach and then bent his head down and began to trail a line of slow wet kisses from the nape of Harry's neck, down the length of his spine and over the bump of his tailbone. Then he began to lick at the opening he found as he parted Harry's buttocks. Harry squirmed and moaned as he spread his legs further apart.

Tom lifted his head. "Do you like that, Harry?"

"God, yes!" Harry panted, feeling sweat gathering in all the hollows of his body.

Tom bent his head and continued to tease and caress Harry's whole ass with his tongue, only occasionally pressing his hot mouth to the place Harry most wanted it. After one particularly thorough exploration of that opening with Tom's tongue, Harry let out a massive sigh when Tom moved away. "Tommm . . ."

Tom smiled and licked his lips. "Calm down, Harry," Tom snickered and licked his fingers to coat them with saliva before easing first one, and then another into Harry's aching ass. Harry moaned again in relief.

"Another one," Harry asked insistently. Tom had barely worked the third finger into Harry when he groaned out, "Now you, Tom!"

"Harry . . ." Tom began, but Harry cut him off.

"Now, Tom! Now!" and he pushed back forcefully against the three fingers, indicating that he was indeed ready and waiting and impatient as hell.

Tom laughed and Harry pressed his face into the mattress in frustration. But Tom wasn't going to tease any more, and in one exquisite thrust, pushed his erection deep into Harry's waiting body. Harry welcomed him with a grunt and then an appreciative sigh.

Once they were joined, Tom rested on top of Harry for a moment, enjoying the feel of it. It had been a while since he'd done this. For some reason he was barely aware of, he had kept all his Voyager conquests restrained to the female segment of the crew. Now, he realized what he had been missing. Women were a whole delightful world of pleasure unto themselves, but there was nothing quite so thrilling as being inside another guy's ass. And this just wasn't any guy. This was Harry.

Harry! Tom pressed himself close to Harry's back, rocking his hips against Harry's backside, adjusting their positions slightly to achieve an even deeper penetration. Tom was revelling in every exquisite sensation, from where his chest was pressed into Harry's back, to where the inside of Harry's thighs were brushing against his legs. It was perfect.

Harry slowly pulled his arms under him and used their strength to lift his own hips and Tom's body with him. Tom got the message. Raising himself on his hands, he began to ride the exquisite body beneath him. Harry was with him every moment, reciprocating every movement, the two of them urging each other to wilder and wilder abandonment. Until that final moment when, teetering on the edge of sanity, wailing in unison at the mixture of pain and pleasure that waiting on that edge brought, they fell, finally, thankfully, shuddering, clutching each other inside and out, swamped in the euphoria of their accomplishment.

Long moments passed. Exhausted, Tom pulled himself off of Harry and lay beside him on his back. "Tom?" Harry mumbled.

"I'm not going anywhere, Harry," Tom said tiredly. "Relax." And Harry did.

An hour later, Tom lay with eyes closed, enjoying the ministrations of Harry's warm mouth and soft lips on his chest. Ah, this was the only way to be woken up. Maybe he could persuade Harry to stay the whole night. He'd love to wake up to those lips in the morning.

"Tom," Harry drew Tom's eyes to his face with the seriousness of his tone of voice. "You know I'm in love with you, don't you?" There was silence in the room for several long moments as they just looked at each other.

"Yeah," Tom said quietly, so as not to disturb the emotional currents swirling around them. "I know." He reached up and ran his hand through Harry's tousled hair, brushing it back from the wide forehead.

"I don't . . . well, I don't expect . . ." Harry began, but Tom cut him off.

"Let's just take it one day at a time, okay, Harry?"

"Okay," Harry said, but he looked disappointed.

Tom bit his lip. What was he supposed to say now? If he said he felt the same, it would be a lie. Wouldn't it?

"Harry," Tom said finally.

"Yeah?" Harry looked up from brushing his lips very lightly across Tom's chest hair.

"Would you make love to me, now?" he stared into Harry's eyes, trying to impart what he was feeling, even though he wasn't sure what he was feeling.

Harry smiled. He bent his head and latched onto one tiny pink nipple and sucked it into a hard nub. Not releasing it from his suction for a moment, he took it gently between his teeth . . . and bit it.

"Ahhhhh...." Tom's back arched involuntarily and he yelled, grabbing Harry's head in both hands, pulling him away from the throbbing hard red nipple.

Tom and Harry looked at each other for a long moment and something sparked between them and they both ended up grinning at each other. Tom used his grip on Harry's head to bring that tormenting mouth down to repeat the process on his other nipple. Harry obliged.

The intensity of their lovemaking escalated rapidly. Tom was ready the moment Harry's slick fingers entered his ass. Now he was more than ready. Harry was stroking in and out with fingers that teased and caressed with a sure knowledge and an experienced touch. Tom couldn't stand it.

"Stop fooling around, Harry," Tom gritted out. "Do it!"

"I was just . . ." Harry began.

"I don't _care_ , Harry. I need it now!" Tom was pushing against Harry's fingers, shifting his hips, seeking relief from the awesome tension.

Harry pulled his fingers out and Tom groaned at the loss. Then he felt Harry enter him and in one hard thrust fill him up, plunging deep, stretching Tom further than he could ever remember being stretched with a single awe-inspiring motion.

"God!" Tom cried out.

"Tom?" Harry held still inside him, his voice alarmed.

"Don't stop, Harry," Tom said in a hoarse croak. "For God's sake, don't stop now! Do it!" Tom twisted his hips and pressed against Harry with everything he had in him, trying to drive Harry even deeper.

Harry shivered and grasped Tom's bucking hips in a firm grip. He drew himself out quickly and then thrust back in just as fast. Tom and Harry both grunted with the force of it.

"Yes!" Tom hissed. "Yes! Again! Again!"

Harry's thrusting picked up a rhythm and Tom met each thrust with rhythmic pushes of his own. Their bodies were slick and Harry's nails sank into Tom's hips as he tried to hold on to his lover's bucking body. Harry slammed himself into Tom and he felt a wave of intense pleasure beginning to crest inside him.

Tom cried out again. "Now, Harry, now!"

Harry gathered his wits for one last plunge. Then he was deep, deep inside Tom's spasming body, feeling every thundering heartbeat in both their chests, lost in an explosion of pleasure that drowned out Tom's ecstatic cries, drowned out his own, drowned out place and time and identity. Harry was one big pulsing, throbbing, ejaculating penis. And God, it was beautiful.

It seemed a long time before Harry realized he was slumped on Tom's back. He felt so relaxed he didn't want to move, but he did, pulling back, slipping onto the bed beside Tom and then pressing loving kisses of gratitude and affection onto the sweaty skin of Tom's back.

"Harry. Harry . . ." Tom groaned into the mattress. "Give a guy a break." Harry grinned. The grin turned into a chuckle. Harry was laughing gently when Tom turned over onto his back with another groan and gazed ruefully into the dark delighted eyes.

"I can't help it, Tom," Harry said, trying to contain his good humour. "That was just fantastic."

Tom's lips twisted into the beginnings of a weak smile. "It was great, Harry."

Harry's smile faded a notch. "But?" he questioned.

Tom's eyes had slid closed in exhaustion again. They flew open and he looked at Harry in surprise. He'd forgotten about Harry's insecurity regarding sex.

"But nothing, Harry. It was great, like I said," he paused, not sure how to say what he wanted to say. God, he wished Harry could have just fallen asleep so that they could talk about this in the morning. He'd try, anyway, and hopefully he wouldn't mess it up too badly and Harry would understand. "And, if you want, maybe we could do it again. You're going to spend the night with me, Harry, aren't you?"

Harry's gaze never left Tom's face as he contemplated the meaning of what Tom was saying. "I want to, Tom. You know that. You don't need to ask."

"Yeah, well, maybe I want to make sure that you want the same thing I want," Tom answered.

"And what do you want, Tom?" Harry held his breath in anticipation.

"I think maybe we could be lovers, Harry, if you'd like. Would you like to, you know, be lovers?"

Harry was sure he was imagining this. It was like his holodeck fantasy coming true before his eyes. "Yes," he said before Tom could retract his words or change his mind. "Yes, Tom. I want to be your lover. Yes." He continued to stare at Tom, sure that he would wake up soon from this frightening but exhilarating dream.

Tom relaxed slightly, that hurdle safely negotiated. "Good," he paused for breath; one more to go. "As for it turning into anything else . . ." Tom felt Harry freeze. His dark eyes dilated in fear. Tom reached out and clasped Harry's shoulder. "Harry." Tom sighed. "It's been a very long time since I've even thought about the possibility of ever loving someone again." Tom's eyes were filled with painful memories for a moment. "But . . . if anyone could make me love them, Harry . . . it would be you."

Harry closed his eyes and just concentrated on breathing. Not all at once, his mind screamed. Don't give me this all at once. I can't handle it. Not yet. It's too much. It's everything. I can't handle it. Even though I want it so bad I can taste it. I can't handle it.

"Harry?" Tom was worried. Harry's eyebrows were contracted in pain.

When Harry's eyes finally opened they were tear-filled. "Thanks, Tom," he said in a husky voice. His smile was weak, but it was a reassuring sign. Tom pulled Harry down against him and pulled the sheets up around them.

"Go to sleep, Harry."

"Okay," Harry answered. They shifted around a bit, getting comfortable against each other's bodies, and then there was silence in the room, and soon the sound of even breathing.

"I love you, Tom," Harry whispered, not sure if he'd hear him. Tom grunted and shifted slightly in Harry's arms, then was still, his breath lifting Harry's hair slightly. Harry smiled and drifted off too.

The computer's strident voice spoke out loudly in the silent room. "The time is now seven a.m. This is your requested wake up call." Then silence fell again.

It was broken a moment later with a groan coming from the rumpled bed where two nude males lay among the tangled sheets.

"Why the hell do you have your wake up call set for 7 a.m.," grumbled Harry. "We don't need to be on the bridge for another hour and a half," he complained.

"Well, it usually takes me a good half hour just to drag myself out of the bed, that's why," Tom growled. "Now shut up and go back to sleep."

"You're insane," mumbled Harry and buried his head under a pillow.

"Hey, it works," Tom growled again. Damn it, now he was awake, Tom thought to himself. Trust Harry and his complaining to spoil a perfectly good half hour for lazing around in bed. He turned to roll over onto his stomach and was brought up short by the sight of a naked ass pointed right at his groin. Tom grinned. Well, maybe not completely spoiled.

Captain Janeway smiled at Commander Chakotay, who just lifted his eyebrows. Tom Paris was whistling at the conn this morning. Harry Kim was humming to himself at ops. Janeway's look said, 'Did I miss something?' and the Commander's answering shrug said, 'Don't look at me!'

"You seem to be in excellent spirits this morning, Mr. Paris," the Captain commented.

Tom turned to look at her. Janeway noticed his gaze slid to the ops station for a few seconds before coming back to her face.

"A good night's sleep will do that for you, Captain," he said, smiling, blue eyes shining.

Janeway heard a chortle behind her and turned to look at Harry, but he had turned his back and was checking something on the displays behind him.

"You have a good night's sleep too, Harry?" Janeway asked.

Harry turned to gaze with a most innocent air into the Captain's suspicious eyes. "Yes, I got an excellent night's sleep as well, Captain," Harry answered. "Did you?" Tit for tat, nosy lady, he thought smugly.

Janeway smiled at him. So that's how it goes. "Yes, Harry, I had a restful night as well. Thank you," she answered him, then turned quickly when she thought she heard a chortle from behind her. "Tom?" she questioned.

"Yes, ma'am," Tom agreed with a grin. He turned back to face the viewscreen. "A very restful night was had by all."

~~The end~~


End file.
